he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just had sex on a roof
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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