please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
