A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize