It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
