if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Its about making memories worth repressing
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
