Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
