I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is the high leading the old right now
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
