Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Randomize
