i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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