his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
