I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
