We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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