I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize