i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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