Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this boner is exhausting
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
