pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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