my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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