I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
