There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
