ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
