I wish I could teleport
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
