ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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