girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize