I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just had sex bonerless
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
