i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize