Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
