i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
