he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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