I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
