I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize