I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My dick has a subreddit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
