yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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