I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
