Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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