Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
