so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
