the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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