What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
