wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
