I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
