no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
