it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
