She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
