i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
