i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
