Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When did angry sex become our thing?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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