Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
