If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
