"it" just moved
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
