My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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