She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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