Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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