let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
