it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
