Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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