Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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