so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
