I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
