plz talk dirty to me
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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