Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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