Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize