Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
