OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
