who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
